| recent comments mjp said: I'm, uh, working on it. Right now. ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up! shane said: michael phillips,you are a fuckin madman,post yer next story... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up! mjp said: Yes, that is a potential problem for people in 10,001. I often worry about... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... damian said: indeed. ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... Scott h Florance said: The Christians believe Jesus Christ tis immortal and he lives forever. It is... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... mjp said: Isn't there a NASCAR or gun or fishing or tabakky-chewing site you can go... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead Andrew Olin Jones said: Hillbilly said you might turn off the smog but I don't want you to do that... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead mjp said: My childhood box? I don't think anyone wants to open that... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up!   previous ramblings • I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead 2.18.08 • Simple is as simple does 1.31.08 • I feel the earthworms under my feet 1.22.08 • New boots and panties 1.19.08 • I haven't given up, I've just stopped trying 12.25.07 • I don't pray. Kneeling bags my nylons. 12.20.07 • So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night 9.19.07 • Grab the closet case by the horns 8.11.07 • Blogged down in the forum of my youth 5.23.07 • Hotter than July 5.16.07 • 26 Miles Across the Deep Blue Sea 5.11.07 • A rose by any other name, still doesn't smell so good 4.6.07 • Children of a lesser dog from hell 2.22.07 • Squid lights 1.9.07 • Cats and dogs 12.19.06 • Mission accomplished! 11.22.06 • Various tidbits of marginal interest to anyone 11.9.06 • Buddy, can you spare a town? 10.16.06 • A garbage can is somewhat precise. 10.6.06 • Another cantankerous rant - surprise! 9.25.06 • Hey, where you been? 9.1.06 • Geeeeeeee mail, @smog.net 7.27.06 • Oh good lord, it's a kid's show 7.22.06 • Sleeping dogs 6.28.06 • Dumb and dumber 6.21.06 • HDTV for $150! 5.16.06 • Thank you for calling the White House. My name is Krishna, how may I be providing you excellent service today? 4.28.06 • Decades and bits of centuries 4.24.06 • Secret Society 3.22.06 • Sometimes I don't speak right, but yet I know what I'm talking about 3.20.06 • This is the modern world 3.15.06 • Shakespeare never did this 2.18.06 • Who is Lonnie Tolliver, and why should you care? 1.27.06 • Scuttlebutt and innuendo 1.16.06 • Beware the fury of a patient man 1.6.06 • I feel 100 pounds lighter already... 12.30.05 • Dude! Your wiki is showing... 12.20.05 • Yeti spotted, film at 11! 12.19.05 • "God is a concept by which we measure our pain." 12.9.05 • Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... 12.8.05 • Hey, what's with the torn up clothes, and didn't you have a shag haircut last week? 12.5.05 • Shameless self-promotion or a desperate cry for love? You decide. 11.18.05 • Further proof that drinking will kill you 11.6.05 • Big Apple dreamin' on a wooden floor 11.1.05 • Happy birthday to smog. Now where's my cake? 10.16.05 • I got nothing 10.4.05 • free within my own doom 9.25.05 • A Rambling Essay on Politics and the Bleeding Life Written While Drinking a Six-Pack (Tall) 9.12.05 • (There's Gonna Be A) Showdown 8.31.05 • Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then? 8.28.05 • What has four wheels and flies? 8.21.05 • Don't think twice, it's all right 8.13.05 • My ass is getting cold sitting on this glacier... 8.11.05 • Capital radio 8.11.05 • nobody's fault 7.23.05 • secret santa 7.3.05 • everything we touch turns to rust 6.21.05 • on the edge of seventeen 6.13.05 • life at 300 baud 6.9.05 • 12 steps away from the screen, running 6.5.05 • shake a leg 6.5.05 • san pedro anarchy press, Inc. 5.22.05 • Z is for zealot 5.20.05 • Lenny Bruce was right 5.16.05 • bad meat in the can 5.12.05 • it's in the water 5.12.05 • you tell me 5.10.05 • what matters most is how well you're lit 5.5.05 • just keep pulling the handle, it'll all be over soon 5.3.05 • rust never sleeps 4.24.05 • randomness, chaos and deliverance 4.21.05 • baby was a black sheep, baby was a whore 4.20.05 • Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? 4.16.05 • roses are red, violets are blue, i thought my hell had ended, but the devil is a crafty bastard with a sick sense of humor and a mean streak a mile wide 4.14.05 • rock the cash bar 4.12.05 • many rivers to cross 4.10.05 • imitation is the sincerest form of unoriginality 4.8.05 • if you are the big tree, we are the small axe! 4.8.05 • give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine 4.4.05 • and who the hell figured QWERTY was a good idea? 4.4.05 • your pope was nothing compared to this guy! 4.3.05 • you've got a TV...i've got a TV...we've all got TV's... 3.29.05 • hitler painted roses 3.26.05 • counselor 3.25.05 • she's still here, damn it! 3.21.05 • patience is a virtue, but resignation is for suckers. 3.13.05 • should have taken mom up on those violin lessons... 3.9.05 • last night a dj saved my life! yeah, maaaaan! 3.9.05 • if i had a hammer... 3.8.05 • caveman re-invents the wheel! film at 11. 3.7.05 • he's mad as hell, and he's not going to take it anymore! 3.4.05 • this is a public service announcement - with guitar! 3.2.05 • battlefield girth 2.28.05 • never give a media giant an even break 2.25.05 • 10 Things I've done that you haven't 2.24.05 • come back, bastard! 2.23.05 • hey, just because he likes Judy Garland records and the Tony awards doesn't necessarily mean anything... 2.23.05 • "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." 2.21.05 • I couldn't say it if it wasn't true 2.17.05 • The demons begged Jesus, "If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs." 2.11.05 • how to lose 10 pounds in five minutes! 2.6.05 • earth to smog, earth to smog 2.5.05 • my own private chernobyl... 2.2.05 • Estoy solo, pero siento que tu estas conmigo. 1.26.05 • confessions of an obsessive freak of nature 1.5.05 • death wants more death 12.30.04 • every mikkle make a muckle (ask a Jamaican what it means) 12.17.04 • things that don't suck 12.15.04 • what's it all about, mjp? 11.11.04 • old dog, new tricks 9.2.04 • if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all 8.15.04 • Frida Kahlo, Charles Bukowski and Joel-Peter Witkin have left the building 2.13.03 • R.I.P. smog.net 5.19.04 • almost cut my hair...it happened just the other day 4.23.04 • and we're back! 4.22.04 • one cocoa full a basket 2.14.04 • let's get ready to rumble 1.24.04 • brace yourself for a shitstorm 1.6.04 • it's my party, i'll o.d. if i want to 12.6.03 • pimp-a-licious 11.27.03 • on a clear day you can see the 18th century 11.9.03 • men are from mars, women are from vegas 10.14.03 • hit and run walker 10.6.03 • It's all cow, after all 10.2.03 • Johnny Cash is dead, Tower records is bankrupt, gawd save the fucking Queen. 9.13.03 • any history of mental illness? 9.10.03 • boggle: to hesitate as if in fear or doubt. 9.6.03 • pass the aspirin 8.27.03 • this is what i get for leaving the house 7.21.03 • safety in numbers 7.13.03 • god damn 7.11.03 • a million and one stupid things... 6.6.03 • praise Jeebus! 5.23.03 • Kennedy to John Lydon; "Oh, lighten up!" 5.20.03 • they say the French are cowards and assholes... 5.2.03 • I couldn't possibly be *that* fat! 4.19.03 • what's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding? 3.22.03 • this skunk's for you 3.12.03 • Monday's coming like a jail on wheels 2.24.03 • linux, linus, lomax, duck! 2.20.03 • FREE MICHAEL JACKSON! 2.18.03 • the weather in Los Angeles is cloudy 2.13.03 ©1995-2008 mjp | 12 steps away from the screen, running Sunday, June 5th 2005, 2:36pm  every time i see actor Paul Giamatti in a movie, he's good. he was downright excellent as Harvey Pekar in American Splendor. so when i heard that the best actor academy award was going to be between Giamatti and Jamie Fox, i was pulling for Giamatti to win it. to tell the truth, i don't really care who wins an academy award, but i'm always down for the underdog in any contest. now, having recently seen Ray and Sideways, i don't think either one of them should win anything. ever.if there are two more boring movies out there, i can't think of them. god damn, those movies are crap. i assumed Ray would be somewhat sucky, seeing as it was so popular ("the Star Wars effect"), but i saw a "making of Ray" short that was pretty good, so i was looking forward to seeing it. first of all, way too much junkie shit. okay, okay, i get it, Ray Charles had a smack habit. does that really need to take up two thirds of the movie? there's nothing more boring - in real life or on film - than a fucking junkie. the movie was an hour too long as it was, so here's some free advice to director Taylor Hackford; cut out 90% of the junkie scenes, throw in some gunplay (ala Ray's character in the Blues Brothers), and you've got yourself a movie. otherwise all you've got is a snore-fest. Sideways - i saw it last week and i can barely remember any of it. it was so lauded and talked up that i expected it to fall short of the hype in some respects, but i didn't expect to be wondering if i should go out and water the lawn in the middle of the movie. so very boring. no Days of Wine and Roses here folks. no Lost Weekend, Leaving Las Vegas or Barfly. now those were memorable drunks. you just want everyone in Sideways to die so the DVD can end.  so there you go, two thumbs down for Ray and Sideways. Jim Carey should have got the damned best actor award anyway, for Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind. the best movie of the millennium, hands down. on Sunday, June 5th 2005 at 6:03pm, tbonekkt said: well shit. didn't i suggest you watch sideways? i still liked it. on Monday, June 6th 2005 at 12:14am, chosha said: Eternal Sunshine is an awesome movie - clever, understated, well-cast. It's one of the few movies I bought while I was still on a really tight budget. And yeah, much better than Sideways, which was very much over-rated. on Monday, June 6th 2005 at 9:35am, mjp said: well shit. didn't i suggest you watch sideways? i still liked it. you were only one of many who talked it up, so i don't blame you. not completely, anyway. on Tuesday, June 7th 2005 at 12:13am, wes said: Sideways was a brilliant film and you labeling it 'boring' makes me question your competence. Giamatti's depression throughout the movie was hilarious and his friends nymphomania even better, the story was well told and the book is even better. Sideways deserved to be hyped up and it was everything I wanted it to be and more. on Tuesday, June 7th 2005 at 2:29pm, damian said: my friend warned me about seeing Sideways - he said it was a "male menopause movie" - he was right. i stopped the movie when i realized how litle i cared about the characters, but watched the rest the next day thinking "well, maybe the last 30 minutes will redeem it". boy, was i ever fucking wrong. on Tuesday, June 7th 2005 at 9:36pm, mjp said: i've found that hoping a movie (or book or record) will magically "get good" when it isn't good to begin with is a really, really stupid thing to do. because it never happens. but you invest an hour or three in something and it's hard to give up on it before it's finished. i'm getting better at giving up. though i did watch every dull moment of sideways. much to my dismay. on Tuesday, June 7th 2005 at 9:39pm, mjp said: "Sideways was a brilliant film..." --- you say that as if it's a statement of fact, when it's only an opinion. just like mine. in five years you won't remember sideways. "Giamatti's depression throughout the movie was hilarious..." if by hilarious you mean tedious and grating, then i wholeheartedly agree! see, we can find common ground. on Tuesday, June 7th 2005 at 11:16pm, wes said: I say that Sideways is a brilliant film in the way that you say Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is the best movie of the millenium (in no way am I putting down Eternal Sunshine, it is an amazing piece of art). hilarious adj : marked by or causing boisterous merriment or convulsive laughter; "hilarious broad comedy"; "a screaming farce"; "uproarious stories" Huh, how about that...nope nothing in it says annoying, tedious or grating. In five years I will still own the movie Sideways. on Wednesday, June 8th 2005 at 10:30am, damian said: you callin' me stooopid mjp? huh? HUH?? well...ok. and wes, you might still own the movie 5 years hence, but - will you watch it? will it stand the test of time? on Thursday, June 9th 2005 at 2:32am, mjp said: you callin' me stooopid mjp? huh? HUH?? nah, i was talking about myself. otherwise i'd have only seen 15 minutes of sideways... on Saturday, July 30th 2005 at 11:57pm, J. Davis said: I'm not sure why is hasn't been brought up, but there isn't much of a far leap between Giamatti's character in American Splendor and Sideways. They're both depressed. They're both writers. "Doomy and Gloomy", Pekar calls it. The only difference is that Pekar seems like a bit more of a realized moper. Sideways is a movie with a journey archetype and I tend to like these movies, but you're right it's not Oscar worthy. But Eternal Sunshine? Goddamn it's so dangerous to write a movie about out of body expereriences and do it sooooo right. I mean have any of you seen Vanilla Sky? Puh-leeze. on Thursday, August 4th 2005 at 1:21am, Hillbilly Jones said: That's another thing about getting older; movies don't give your heart a blow job like they used to. The older you get, the more you understand it's a movie. It's not death that is depressing, but the fact that things aren't like they seemed in your 20s; like you wanted to believe they were. I imagine that people in their 90s say, ?Damn! Things aren?t like they seemed in my 80s.? I'm serious. What about HAROLD AND MAUDE? I?d never even thought about an 80-year old snapper, until I saw that movie on the front row on a night when the streets were covered with ice. I was the only one in the theater. I was high and drunk and ended up leaving out the side exit with one of the theater's tall, shiny, sand-filled ashtrays with a hole in the middle for a trash can. I kept it for 20 years. And, BEING THERE? Peter Sellers was the only person born who could have played Chauncey Gardner. Seems like everybody I write about is dead. And the poetry of DIANE WAKOSKI. Read her poem, ?Some Constantly Besieged Castle? and your bacon will fry itself in the morning. Only thing is, when Wakoski wrote it she looked like a 30-something female John Denver (undesirable, yes, but still fuckable). And now she looks like Moses? twin sister after a motorcycle accident before they took the stitches out. smog.blog powered by buddy V2.0 |