smog.net

recent comments

mjp said: I'm, uh, working on it. Right now. ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up!

shane said: michael phillips,you are a fuckin madman,post yer next story... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up!

mjp said: Yes, that is a potential problem for people in 10,001. I often worry about... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this...

damian said: indeed. ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this...

Scott h Florance said: The Christians believe Jesus Christ tis immortal and he lives forever. It is... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this...

mjp said: Isn't there a NASCAR or gun or fishing or tabakky-chewing site you can go... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead

Andrew Olin Jones said: Hillbilly said you might turn off the smog but I don't want you to do that... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead

mjp said: My childhood box? I don't think anyone wants to open that... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up!

previous ramblings

• I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead 2.18.08

• Simple is as simple does 1.31.08

• I feel the earthworms under my feet 1.22.08

• New boots and panties 1.19.08

• I haven't given up, I've just stopped trying 12.25.07

• I don't pray. Kneeling bags my nylons. 12.20.07

• So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night 9.19.07

• Grab the closet case by the horns 8.11.07

• Blogged down in the forum of my youth 5.23.07

• Hotter than July 5.16.07

• 26 Miles Across the Deep Blue Sea 5.11.07

• A rose by any other name, still doesn't smell so good 4.6.07

• Children of a lesser dog from hell 2.22.07

• Squid lights 1.9.07

• Cats and dogs 12.19.06

• Mission accomplished! 11.22.06

• Various tidbits of marginal interest to anyone 11.9.06

• Buddy, can you spare a town? 10.16.06

• A garbage can is somewhat precise. 10.6.06

• Another cantankerous rant - surprise! 9.25.06

• Hey, where you been? 9.1.06

• Geeeeeeee mail, @smog.net 7.27.06

• Oh good lord, it's a kid's show 7.22.06

• Sleeping dogs 6.28.06

• Dumb and dumber 6.21.06

• HDTV for $150! 5.16.06

• Thank you for calling the White House. My name is Krishna, how may I be providing you excellent service today? 4.28.06

• Decades and bits of centuries 4.24.06

• Secret Society 3.22.06

• Sometimes I don't speak right, but yet I know what I'm talking about 3.20.06

• This is the modern world 3.15.06

• Shakespeare never did this 2.18.06

• Who is Lonnie Tolliver, and why should you care? 1.27.06

• Scuttlebutt and innuendo 1.16.06

• Beware the fury of a patient man 1.6.06

• I feel 100 pounds lighter already... 12.30.05

• Dude! Your wiki is showing... 12.20.05

• Yeti spotted, film at 11! 12.19.05

• "God is a concept by which we measure our pain." 12.9.05

• Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... 12.8.05

• Hey, what's with the torn up clothes, and didn't you have a shag haircut last week? 12.5.05

• Shameless self-promotion or a desperate cry for love? You decide. 11.18.05

• Further proof that drinking will kill you 11.6.05

• Big Apple dreamin' on a wooden floor 11.1.05

• Happy birthday to smog. Now where's my cake? 10.16.05

• I got nothing 10.4.05

• free within my own doom 9.25.05

• A Rambling Essay on Politics and the Bleeding Life Written While Drinking a Six-Pack (Tall) 9.12.05

• (There's Gonna Be A) Showdown 8.31.05

• Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then? 8.28.05

• What has four wheels and flies? 8.21.05

• Don't think twice, it's all right 8.13.05

• My ass is getting cold sitting on this glacier... 8.11.05

• Capital radio 8.11.05

• nobody's fault 7.23.05

• secret santa 7.3.05

• everything we touch turns to rust 6.21.05

• on the edge of seventeen 6.13.05

• life at 300 baud 6.9.05

• 12 steps away from the screen, running 6.5.05

• shake a leg 6.5.05

• san pedro anarchy press, Inc. 5.22.05

• Z is for zealot 5.20.05

• Lenny Bruce was right 5.16.05

• bad meat in the can 5.12.05

• it's in the water 5.12.05

• you tell me 5.10.05

• what matters most is how well you're lit 5.5.05

• just keep pulling the handle, it'll all be over soon 5.3.05

• rust never sleeps 4.24.05

• randomness, chaos and deliverance 4.21.05

• baby was a black sheep, baby was a whore 4.20.05

• Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? 4.16.05

• roses are red, violets are blue, i thought my hell had ended, but the devil is a crafty bastard with a sick sense of humor and a mean streak a mile wide 4.14.05

• rock the cash bar 4.12.05

• many rivers to cross 4.10.05

• imitation is the sincerest form of unoriginality 4.8.05

• if you are the big tree, we are the small axe! 4.8.05

• give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine 4.4.05

• and who the hell figured QWERTY was a good idea? 4.4.05

• your pope was nothing compared to this guy! 4.3.05

• you've got a TV...i've got a TV...we've all got TV's... 3.29.05

• hitler painted roses 3.26.05

• counselor 3.25.05

• she's still here, damn it! 3.21.05

• patience is a virtue, but resignation is for suckers. 3.13.05

• should have taken mom up on those violin lessons... 3.9.05

• last night a dj saved my life! yeah, maaaaan! 3.9.05

• if i had a hammer... 3.8.05

• caveman re-invents the wheel! film at 11. 3.7.05

• he's mad as hell, and he's not going to take it anymore! 3.4.05

• this is a public service announcement - with guitar! 3.2.05

• battlefield girth 2.28.05

• never give a media giant an even break 2.25.05

• 10 Things I've done that you haven't 2.24.05

• come back, bastard! 2.23.05

• hey, just because he likes Judy Garland records and the Tony awards doesn't necessarily mean anything... 2.23.05

• "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." 2.21.05

• I couldn't say it if it wasn't true 2.17.05

• The demons begged Jesus, "If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs." 2.11.05

• how to lose 10 pounds in five minutes! 2.6.05

• earth to smog, earth to smog 2.5.05

• my own private chernobyl... 2.2.05

• Estoy solo, pero siento que tu estas conmigo. 1.26.05

• confessions of an obsessive freak of nature 1.5.05

• death wants more death 12.30.04

• every mikkle make a muckle (ask a Jamaican what it means) 12.17.04

• things that don't suck 12.15.04

• what's it all about, mjp? 11.11.04

• old dog, new tricks 9.2.04

• if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all 8.15.04

• Frida Kahlo, Charles Bukowski and Joel-Peter Witkin have left the building 2.13.03

• R.I.P. smog.net 5.19.04

• almost cut my hair...it happened just the other day 4.23.04

• and we're back! 4.22.04

• one cocoa full a basket 2.14.04

• let's get ready to rumble 1.24.04

• brace yourself for a shitstorm 1.6.04

• it's my party, i'll o.d. if i want to 12.6.03

• pimp-a-licious 11.27.03

• on a clear day you can see the 18th century 11.9.03

• men are from mars, women are from vegas 10.14.03

• hit and run walker 10.6.03

• It's all cow, after all 10.2.03

• Johnny Cash is dead, Tower records is bankrupt, gawd save the fucking Queen. 9.13.03

• any history of mental illness? 9.10.03

• boggle: to hesitate as if in fear or doubt. 9.6.03

• pass the aspirin 8.27.03

• this is what i get for leaving the house 7.21.03

• safety in numbers 7.13.03

• god damn 7.11.03

• a million and one stupid things... 6.6.03

• praise Jeebus! 5.23.03

• Kennedy to John Lydon; "Oh, lighten up!" 5.20.03

• they say the French are cowards and assholes... 5.2.03

• I couldn't possibly be *that* fat! 4.19.03

• what's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding? 3.22.03

• this skunk's for you 3.12.03

• Monday's coming like a jail on wheels 2.24.03

• linux, linus, lomax, duck! 2.20.03

• FREE MICHAEL JACKSON! 2.18.03

• the weather in Los Angeles is cloudy 2.13.03

©1995-2008 mjp

rust never sleeps
Sunday, April 24th 2005, 2:27am

back out in the ink-hole otherwise known as the garage, where my old letterpress lives, quietly mocking me every day because i don't print much.

well, i haven't been feeling the urge since a house painter came some months ago and washed the house and garage with a high pressure hose, blowing all sorts of water, dirt and mud into the garage through the space under the eaves. a lot of that water and mud and old dead bugs wound up on my 1890's letterpress and various tons of related equipment. by the time i found out what had happened, the rust was so depressing i just closed the door and ignored it. wrote it all off as loss.

type in the case

but a few weeks ago i got the stupid idea to de-rustify some of the stuff and see if it still had any life in it. a few days and a half a gallon of EVAPO-RUST later, i had the bare workings of the old setup ready to go. today i went out to limber up and get back in the grove by printing up a batch of Carol's business cards. that i was out of practice was evidenced by the crushing of a few numbers of her zip code on a gripper (lead foundry type is relatively hard, but it gives way when it encounters other metal and pressure). i had no replacements for the 3's i crushed so i had to reset her phone number and address in a new face. i was surprised to find my hands moving to the correct places in the typecase after being away for so long.

business cards drying

so i knocked off a few hundred cards for her, and set the title for my next project; a broadside poem composed on the spot as i pull the type from the case. could be a tremendous and resounding failure, but i'm going to try it anyway. the title is, "I COMPOSE THIS POEM DIRECTLY IN THE STICK" and that's all i've done so far. ("THE STICK" being the composing stick, a small metal contraption for holding the lines of type as you set them. you hold the stick in your left hand while you pick up the type with your right. fascinating, ain't it?) i'm not thinking of what it will be since i want it to be spontaneous. or as spontaneous as you can be when setting type letter by letter by letter by space by letter by letter...you get the idea.

closeup of a finished form

Carol and i are working on another top secret project, and when that's finished i will (finally) print the book of poems that i promised a couple of years ago. it probably won't be finished until late summer or fall, but who knows. maybe i'll be able to cram some press time in before that.

so yeah, hand made books and broadsides are on the way. they'll be very small runs and i don't know what i'm going to do with them yet. meaning i don't know if they'll be for sale or what. all my copies of alternative man (the Mother Road published book) are gone, and the chapbooks i made in '99 are all gone too, so maybe some of this hand printed stuff can fill the gap for now. we'll see if it turns out well or it's just crap.

and of course (as if it were a surprise) there's still no sign of Osama bin Laden!

on Sunday, April 24th 2005 at 8:56pm, tbonekkt said:
operating printing presses must be like riding a bike... you never forget how.

on Sunday, April 24th 2005 at 10:09pm, mjp said:
the funny thing is, i operated offset presses for 15 years, and they are completely different. but when i got the letterpress i just fell into it. printing is printing. stick a different machine in front of someone with ink in their blood and they can work it.

on Wednesday, April 27th 2005 at 11:48am, Amparo said:
I LOVE the cards!

on Wednesday, May 4th 2005 at 12:27pm, David Harris - Harris International Labs Inc. said:
Thanks for the Evapo-Rust plug. If you have any pictures of the type equipment before and after. We would love to post them on our web site with a link to your site. Thanks again.

on Sunday, April 6th 2008 at 3:56pm, hoochmonkey9 said:
again, sorry to dig up old posts....
did you get rid of the press when you moved?
and when is your new book coming out?

huh, I'm starting to feel like Pamela Des Barres.....

on Monday, April 7th 2008 at 12:54am, mjp said:
It's okay to dig up the old posts.

I retired from printing. I sold everything in the shop to a guy who drove down from San Francisco in a pickup truck with his 80 pound girlfriend to help him move it all.

Don't know how he did it, but he did.

I sold it for about a fifth of what I put into it financially, and 100th of what I put in in sweat and blood and time.

But that's the way it goes with letterpress.

I was moving, I couldn't add that two tons to the twenty tons we already had. The movers nearly shit when they saw what we did have I can imagine they would have just turned around and left if I told them to move the printing equipment.

--

By "new book" if you mean something after Dumb Silence, it's still in the works. Meaning I haven't finished writing it yet. It's about 30,000 words and I feel like it may double before it's finished, so I have no fucking idea what to do with it.

It's not poems, obviously. I don't know what it is. It's part punk/Reggae road memoir, part autobiography and part imagination. Those either add up to something that will make people go "damn!" in a good way, or "damn!" in a bad way.

on Monday, April 7th 2008 at 7:08am, hoochmonkey9 said:
damn!