| recent comments mjp said: I'm, uh, working on it. Right now. ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up! shane said: michael phillips,you are a fuckin madman,post yer next story... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up! mjp said: Yes, that is a potential problem for people in 10,001. I often worry about... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... damian said: indeed. ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... Scott h Florance said: The Christians believe Jesus Christ tis immortal and he lives forever. It is... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... mjp said: Isn't there a NASCAR or gun or fishing or tabakky-chewing site you can go... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead Andrew Olin Jones said: Hillbilly said you might turn off the smog but I don't want you to do that... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead mjp said: My childhood box? I don't think anyone wants to open that... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up!   previous ramblings • I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead 2.18.08 • Simple is as simple does 1.31.08 • I feel the earthworms under my feet 1.22.08 • New boots and panties 1.19.08 • I haven't given up, I've just stopped trying 12.25.07 • I don't pray. Kneeling bags my nylons. 12.20.07 • So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night 9.19.07 • Grab the closet case by the horns 8.11.07 • Blogged down in the forum of my youth 5.23.07 • Hotter than July 5.16.07 • 26 Miles Across the Deep Blue Sea 5.11.07 • A rose by any other name, still doesn't smell so good 4.6.07 • Children of a lesser dog from hell 2.22.07 • Squid lights 1.9.07 • Cats and dogs 12.19.06 • Mission accomplished! 11.22.06 • Various tidbits of marginal interest to anyone 11.9.06 • Buddy, can you spare a town? 10.16.06 • A garbage can is somewhat precise. 10.6.06 • Another cantankerous rant - surprise! 9.25.06 • Hey, where you been? 9.1.06 • Geeeeeeee mail, @smog.net 7.27.06 • Oh good lord, it's a kid's show 7.22.06 • Sleeping dogs 6.28.06 • Dumb and dumber 6.21.06 • HDTV for $150! 5.16.06 • Thank you for calling the White House. My name is Krishna, how may I be providing you excellent service today? 4.28.06 • Decades and bits of centuries 4.24.06 • Secret Society 3.22.06 • Sometimes I don't speak right, but yet I know what I'm talking about 3.20.06 • This is the modern world 3.15.06 • Shakespeare never did this 2.18.06 • Who is Lonnie Tolliver, and why should you care? 1.27.06 • Scuttlebutt and innuendo 1.16.06 • Beware the fury of a patient man 1.6.06 • I feel 100 pounds lighter already... 12.30.05 • Dude! Your wiki is showing... 12.20.05 • Yeti spotted, film at 11! 12.19.05 • "God is a concept by which we measure our pain." 12.9.05 • Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... 12.8.05 • Hey, what's with the torn up clothes, and didn't you have a shag haircut last week? 12.5.05 • Shameless self-promotion or a desperate cry for love? You decide. 11.18.05 • Further proof that drinking will kill you 11.6.05 • Big Apple dreamin' on a wooden floor 11.1.05 • Happy birthday to smog. Now where's my cake? 10.16.05 • I got nothing 10.4.05 • free within my own doom 9.25.05 • A Rambling Essay on Politics and the Bleeding Life Written While Drinking a Six-Pack (Tall) 9.12.05 • (There's Gonna Be A) Showdown 8.31.05 • Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then? 8.28.05 • What has four wheels and flies? 8.21.05 • Don't think twice, it's all right 8.13.05 • My ass is getting cold sitting on this glacier... 8.11.05 • Capital radio 8.11.05 • nobody's fault 7.23.05 • secret santa 7.3.05 • everything we touch turns to rust 6.21.05 • on the edge of seventeen 6.13.05 • life at 300 baud 6.9.05 • 12 steps away from the screen, running 6.5.05 • shake a leg 6.5.05 • san pedro anarchy press, Inc. 5.22.05 • Z is for zealot 5.20.05 • Lenny Bruce was right 5.16.05 • bad meat in the can 5.12.05 • it's in the water 5.12.05 • you tell me 5.10.05 • what matters most is how well you're lit 5.5.05 • just keep pulling the handle, it'll all be over soon 5.3.05 • rust never sleeps 4.24.05 • randomness, chaos and deliverance 4.21.05 • baby was a black sheep, baby was a whore 4.20.05 • Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? 4.16.05 • roses are red, violets are blue, i thought my hell had ended, but the devil is a crafty bastard with a sick sense of humor and a mean streak a mile wide 4.14.05 • rock the cash bar 4.12.05 • many rivers to cross 4.10.05 • imitation is the sincerest form of unoriginality 4.8.05 • if you are the big tree, we are the small axe! 4.8.05 • give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine 4.4.05 • and who the hell figured QWERTY was a good idea? 4.4.05 • your pope was nothing compared to this guy! 4.3.05 • you've got a TV...i've got a TV...we've all got TV's... 3.29.05 • hitler painted roses 3.26.05 • counselor 3.25.05 • she's still here, damn it! 3.21.05 • patience is a virtue, but resignation is for suckers. 3.13.05 • should have taken mom up on those violin lessons... 3.9.05 • last night a dj saved my life! yeah, maaaaan! 3.9.05 • if i had a hammer... 3.8.05 • caveman re-invents the wheel! film at 11. 3.7.05 • he's mad as hell, and he's not going to take it anymore! 3.4.05 • this is a public service announcement - with guitar! 3.2.05 • battlefield girth 2.28.05 • never give a media giant an even break 2.25.05 • 10 Things I've done that you haven't 2.24.05 • come back, bastard! 2.23.05 • hey, just because he likes Judy Garland records and the Tony awards doesn't necessarily mean anything... 2.23.05 • "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." 2.21.05 • I couldn't say it if it wasn't true 2.17.05 • The demons begged Jesus, "If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs." 2.11.05 • how to lose 10 pounds in five minutes! 2.6.05 • earth to smog, earth to smog 2.5.05 • my own private chernobyl... 2.2.05 • Estoy solo, pero siento que tu estas conmigo. 1.26.05 • confessions of an obsessive freak of nature 1.5.05 • death wants more death 12.30.04 • every mikkle make a muckle (ask a Jamaican what it means) 12.17.04 • things that don't suck 12.15.04 • what's it all about, mjp? 11.11.04 • old dog, new tricks 9.2.04 • if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all 8.15.04 • Frida Kahlo, Charles Bukowski and Joel-Peter Witkin have left the building 2.13.03 • R.I.P. smog.net 5.19.04 • almost cut my hair...it happened just the other day 4.23.04 • and we're back! 4.22.04 • one cocoa full a basket 2.14.04 • let's get ready to rumble 1.24.04 • brace yourself for a shitstorm 1.6.04 • it's my party, i'll o.d. if i want to 12.6.03 • pimp-a-licious 11.27.03 • on a clear day you can see the 18th century 11.9.03 • men are from mars, women are from vegas 10.14.03 • hit and run walker 10.6.03 • It's all cow, after all 10.2.03 • Johnny Cash is dead, Tower records is bankrupt, gawd save the fucking Queen. 9.13.03 • any history of mental illness? 9.10.03 • boggle: to hesitate as if in fear or doubt. 9.6.03 • pass the aspirin 8.27.03 • this is what i get for leaving the house 7.21.03 • safety in numbers 7.13.03 • god damn 7.11.03 • a million and one stupid things... 6.6.03 • praise Jeebus! 5.23.03 • Kennedy to John Lydon; "Oh, lighten up!" 5.20.03 • they say the French are cowards and assholes... 5.2.03 • I couldn't possibly be *that* fat! 4.19.03 • what's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding? 3.22.03 • this skunk's for you 3.12.03 • Monday's coming like a jail on wheels 2.24.03 • linux, linus, lomax, duck! 2.20.03 • FREE MICHAEL JACKSON! 2.18.03 • the weather in Los Angeles is cloudy 2.13.03 ©1995-2008 mjp | roses are red, violets are blue, i thought my hell had ended, but the devil is a crafty bastard with a sick sense of humor and a mean streak a mile wide Thursday, April 14th 2005, 11:27am someone named Stan Sears sent me an email with the subject, "some of my stuff." now, i'm not sure why Stan did that, seeing as smog hasn't accepted submissions or even been a multi-artist site for almost a year, but all that aside, i found Stan's "stuff" fascinating, and i think you will too.  but before we get to Stan, let me just say, this whole "stuff" thing really chaps my pickle. what the hell is "stuff"? as the writer, if you think so little of what you do that you refer to it as "stuff," maybe you should keep it to yourself. or substitute "shit" for "stuff" in the interest of truth in advertising.okay, now that that is out of the way, here's Stan Sears' stuff - PUFF BLOOD ABCs A. Trick mounted pony clowns in drag dispense shredded rainbow courage to puff headed children. B. For one for all foregone fall violet-fire nurture-matter space needle call. C. Bacon wrapped suicides claw at preacher disguises telling Big Ben while midnight spins to forgive divinity while on while till on till then on then. D. Garden wormed garden germed secrets in survival as snake charmers whirl fanged incest and snakes, too. E. Fingernail conditions on 12-story window ledges of relief watch frightened forests the death of nature city safer until fireman hose blood from pavement curbs. isn't that just imagery to die for? my goodness, you can just sink your teeth into its juicy goodness and deep dark chocolate flavor! i can usually tell the difference between really bad "serious" poetry and a goof, but old Stan really has me stumped. i pray to my lord and savior jesus h. christ that he's kidding, but i have the horrifying feeling that he is not. so i inflict this upon you, so that i should not suffer alone. i think Bukowski wrote a poem about this guy... on Thursday, April 14th 2005 at 1:26pm, Testimonium paupertatis said: the new-blood-section was one of the funniest things on old smog.net ... the posted comments. another were the bukowski-comments. i still smile about the guy who wrote his aunt met bukowski a zillion years ago and he's sure bukowski got some pussy from her, something uncle joe rarely got. on Thursday, April 14th 2005 at 2:07pm, mjp said: you've got a good memory. and that was a funny comment. the one comment that proves the 100 monkeys theory... on Thursday, April 14th 2005 at 2:41pm, damian said: the only person who ever got imagery right, in my opinion, was Ginsberg...i know i'm wrong, but for me AG's "stuff" does the trick...for the rest of us, why bother gussying up "i took a wicked crap today" with a bunch of flowery BS? holy fuck - i've totally lost track of my point. on Thursday, April 14th 2005 at 4:58pm, mjp said: i saw allen ginsberg do a reading at McCabe's guitar shop in west LA a million years ago, and i have to admit that i wasn't feeling it. but then again, he was on some kind of weird autoharp trip, accompanying himself with the droning thing on almost every piece he read. and butt sex with other men was a popular topic that night, and while there's nothing wrong with that, i don't think i was the target audience. i don't know. he seemed real captivated with himself. the people i was with liked it. except Trevy, who fell asleep. on Friday, April 15th 2005 at 10:30am, melissa sue said: sounds like he owns a sadistic set of refrigerator poetry magnets, shuffling them around half asleep in the morning, while nibbling at eggo waffles. on Friday, April 15th 2005 at 10:38am, damian said: well, mr.mjp, it's too bad that bum sex with other dudes isn't your bag...otherwise, you might have liked the show. i saw a video not too long ago of the Beat bastards geting together and reading and generally fucking around - it was great. And Allen ws doing that autoharp thing too, but it wasn't that bad. i can almost forget the fact that that ugly sunuvabitch put cocks in his mouth. how exactly does one express ~sHuDdEr~ on the interweb? i'm sure that's not it. I know a guy who met Allen a while back - apparently he gave my friend shit for drinking too much wine. Hell, you might even know the guy MJP - he's a beatpunk poet from Santa Cruz or somewhere down there. Mark Slane is the name, and being AWOL is his game. ok. whatever. time for chocolate and a cigarette. and a fucking tylenol. christ... on Friday, April 15th 2005 at 11:07am, mjp said: you might think the autoharp thing is cool for a few minutes, but after an hour or so you want to jam sharp pencils deep into your eardrums to make it stop! kinda the same thing with "i love cock" poems. they're fine in small doses. but too much cock isn't good for anyone. poetry refrigerator magnets...i think you hit the nail on the head there. on Friday, April 15th 2005 at 7:05pm, damian said: don't get me wrong...autoharps are the electric guitar of the devil. i'm no fan. hey mjp - an aside - ever hear of Al Purdy? on Saturday, April 16th 2005 at 11:47am, Testimonium paupertatis said: isn`t that the one bukowski writes about in "beer, poets, talk" and "a northern acquaintance"? on Saturday, April 16th 2005 at 5:08pm, mjp said: seen the Purdy name many times, never read anything he's written though. there was a book of Bukowski/Purdy letters that had a small run that i'm always trying to snag, but it has proven to be elusive. on Monday, April 18th 2005 at 7:31am, damian said: yeah, he was Canada's poet laureate at one time...good stuff. surprised you haven't actually read any of his stuff, given the Buk connection. anyhow, that's neither here nor there... on Wednesday, April 27th 2005 at 12:06pm, amanda said: I think I got that spam once... on Saturday, July 23rd 2005 at 3:16pm, Hillbilly Jones said: Is the point that Puff Blood wrote withoug a brain involved? Uh, it's obvious. I'm just pissed off that nobody sells a self-cleaning bong. on Wednesday, August 31st 2005 at 10:42am, someone said: those undriven mortals give a large portion, they recieve 10 fold gusto. Wealth is dredged in spontianity. Devine Mortals create and craft ongoing torture, pains of 1000 deaths. 1000 deaths for an eye, unfold that blanket of pain and wrap your nurtured revege plans with mortals inside. Keep them both warm until you decide its time for winter! He who asks shall recieve, he who executes a bad plan shall reap no rewards of victory! He who believes he has won shall lose! May blood seap from every orafice and pain eat you from the centre out,Mentally spiritually and physically!xox on Monday, September 5th 2005 at 1:03am, Hillbilly Jones said: Hey Someone, you have a quite a way with words. ***the crowd sits quietly Only thing is, your paragraph looks like the head of French Poodle on a 70s sitcom. The owner is a fat guy with a beard who has to have an extra strong toliet seat because he keeps breaking them off while he thumbs through the poetry of Diane Wakoski and whacks off to the beat (no pun) of Elvis Costello's "Everyday I Write The Book." And the dog gets loose about twice a week and children with holes in their jeans and head chase her down for the big fat dude with the big fat heavy ass. smog.blog powered by buddy V2.0 |
