recent comments
mjp said: I'm, uh, working on it. Right now. ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up!
shane said: michael phillips,you are a fuckin madman,post yer next story... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up!
mjp said: Yes, that is a potential problem for people in 10,001. I often worry about... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this...
damian said: indeed. ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this...
Scott h Florance said: The Christians believe Jesus Christ tis immortal and he lives forever. It is... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this...
mjp said: Isn't there a NASCAR or gun or fishing or tabakky-chewing site you can go... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead
Andrew Olin Jones said: Hillbilly said you might turn off the smog but I don't want you to do that... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead
mjp said: My childhood box? I don't think anyone wants to open that... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up!
 
previous ramblings
I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead 2.18.08
Simple is as simple does 1.31.08
I feel the earthworms under my feet 1.22.08
New boots and panties 1.19.08
I haven't given up, I've just stopped trying 12.25.07
I don't pray. Kneeling bags my nylons. 12.20.07
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night 9.19.07
Grab the closet case by the horns 8.11.07
Blogged down in the forum of my youth 5.23.07
Hotter than July 5.16.07
26 Miles Across the Deep Blue Sea 5.11.07
A rose by any other name, still doesn't smell so good 4.6.07
Children of a lesser dog from hell 2.22.07
Squid lights 1.9.07
Cats and dogs 12.19.06
Mission accomplished! 11.22.06
Various tidbits of marginal interest to anyone 11.9.06
Buddy, can you spare a town? 10.16.06
A garbage can is somewhat precise. 10.6.06
Another cantankerous rant - surprise! 9.25.06
Hey, where you been? 9.1.06
Geeeeeeee mail, @smog.net 7.27.06
Oh good lord, it's a kid's show 7.22.06
Sleeping dogs 6.28.06
Dumb and dumber 6.21.06
HDTV for $150! 5.16.06
Thank you for calling the White House. My name is Krishna, how may I be providing you excellent service today? 4.28.06
Decades and bits of centuries 4.24.06
Secret Society 3.22.06
Sometimes I don't speak right, but yet I know what I'm talking about 3.20.06
This is the modern world 3.15.06
Shakespeare never did this 2.18.06
Who is Lonnie Tolliver, and why should you care? 1.27.06
Scuttlebutt and innuendo 1.16.06
Beware the fury of a patient man 1.6.06
I feel 100 pounds lighter already... 12.30.05
Dude! Your wiki is showing... 12.20.05
Yeti spotted, film at 11! 12.19.05
"God is a concept by which we measure our pain." 12.9.05
Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... 12.8.05
Hey, what's with the torn up clothes, and didn't you have a shag haircut last week? 12.5.05
Shameless self-promotion or a desperate cry for love? You decide. 11.18.05
Further proof that drinking will kill you 11.6.05
Big Apple dreamin' on a wooden floor 11.1.05
Happy birthday to smog. Now where's my cake? 10.16.05
I got nothing 10.4.05
free within my own doom 9.25.05
A Rambling Essay on Politics and the Bleeding Life Written While Drinking a Six-Pack (Tall) 9.12.05
(There's Gonna Be A) Showdown 8.31.05
Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then? 8.28.05
What has four wheels and flies? 8.21.05
Don't think twice, it's all right 8.13.05
My ass is getting cold sitting on this glacier... 8.11.05
Capital radio 8.11.05
nobody's fault 7.23.05
secret santa 7.3.05
everything we touch turns to rust 6.21.05
on the edge of seventeen 6.13.05
life at 300 baud 6.9.05
12 steps away from the screen, running 6.5.05
shake a leg 6.5.05
san pedro anarchy press, Inc. 5.22.05
Z is for zealot 5.20.05
Lenny Bruce was right 5.16.05
bad meat in the can 5.12.05
it's in the water 5.12.05
you tell me 5.10.05
what matters most is how well you're lit 5.5.05
just keep pulling the handle, it'll all be over soon 5.3.05
rust never sleeps 4.24.05
randomness, chaos and deliverance 4.21.05
baby was a black sheep, baby was a whore 4.20.05
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? 4.16.05
roses are red, violets are blue, i thought my hell had ended, but the devil is a crafty bastard with a sick sense of humor and a mean streak a mile wide 4.14.05
rock the cash bar 4.12.05
many rivers to cross 4.10.05
imitation is the sincerest form of unoriginality 4.8.05
if you are the big tree, we are the small axe! 4.8.05
give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine 4.4.05
and who the hell figured QWERTY was a good idea? 4.4.05
your pope was nothing compared to this guy! 4.3.05
you've got a TV...i've got a TV...we've all got TV's... 3.29.05
hitler painted roses 3.26.05
counselor 3.25.05
she's still here, damn it! 3.21.05
patience is a virtue, but resignation is for suckers. 3.13.05
should have taken mom up on those violin lessons... 3.9.05
last night a dj saved my life! yeah, maaaaan! 3.9.05
if i had a hammer... 3.8.05
caveman re-invents the wheel! film at 11. 3.7.05
he's mad as hell, and he's not going to take it anymore! 3.4.05
this is a public service announcement - with guitar! 3.2.05
battlefield girth 2.28.05
never give a media giant an even break 2.25.05
10 Things I've done that you haven't 2.24.05
come back, bastard! 2.23.05
hey, just because he likes Judy Garland records and the Tony awards doesn't necessarily mean anything... 2.23.05
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." 2.21.05
I couldn't say it if it wasn't true 2.17.05
The demons begged Jesus, "If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs." 2.11.05
how to lose 10 pounds in five minutes! 2.6.05
earth to smog, earth to smog 2.5.05
my own private chernobyl... 2.2.05
Estoy solo, pero siento que tu estas conmigo. 1.26.05
confessions of an obsessive freak of nature 1.5.05
death wants more death 12.30.04
every mikkle make a muckle (ask a Jamaican what it means) 12.17.04
things that don't suck 12.15.04
what's it all about, mjp? 11.11.04
old dog, new tricks 9.2.04
if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all 8.15.04
Frida Kahlo, Charles Bukowski and Joel-Peter Witkin have left the building 2.13.03
R.I.P. smog.net 5.19.04
almost cut my hair...it happened just the other day 4.23.04
and we're back! 4.22.04
one cocoa full a basket 2.14.04
let's get ready to rumble 1.24.04
brace yourself for a shitstorm 1.6.04
it's my party, i'll o.d. if i want to 12.6.03
pimp-a-licious 11.27.03
on a clear day you can see the 18th century 11.9.03
men are from mars, women are from vegas 10.14.03
hit and run walker 10.6.03
It's all cow, after all 10.2.03
Johnny Cash is dead, Tower records is bankrupt, gawd save the fucking Queen. 9.13.03
any history of mental illness? 9.10.03
boggle: to hesitate as if in fear or doubt. 9.6.03
pass the aspirin 8.27.03
this is what i get for leaving the house 7.21.03
safety in numbers 7.13.03
god damn 7.11.03
a million and one stupid things... 6.6.03
praise Jeebus! 5.23.03
Kennedy to John Lydon; "Oh, lighten up!" 5.20.03
they say the French are cowards and assholes... 5.2.03
I couldn't possibly be *that* fat! 4.19.03
what's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding? 3.22.03
this skunk's for you 3.12.03
Monday's coming like a jail on wheels 2.24.03
linux, linus, lomax, duck! 2.20.03
FREE MICHAEL JACKSON! 2.18.03
the weather in Los Angeles is cloudy 2.13.03
©1995-2008 mjp
| and who the hell figured QWERTY was a good idea? Monday, April 4th 2005, 11:04am
i had to switch to windows XP on my work computer (hey, early adopters are suckers!) and while i've been able to make it work like windows 2000 for the most part (instead of the default Fischer Price "My First Computer" look of XP), they took the old ctrl + alt + del method for locking the computer and moved it to windows + l. for six years i've been doing ctrl + alt + del before i walk away from my desk, but now that only brings up the task manager, not the shutdown/lock options.
this is a stupid little detail and boring as hell to read about, i'm sure, but come on, man. why the hell do they do these senseless things? you old geezers who ran windows 3.1 certainly remember that the window shutdown option was at the upper left of each window. then along came windows 95 and the option was moved to the upper right corner. what is that? they're just fucking with us to have something to keep them amused up there in Redmond, methinks.
so watch for the next version of windows (code name: BOVINE), which will feature more talking dogs, bubbly, dead-eyed manga characters and a brand new 'Hello Kitty' key on your keyboard that controls all of the system functions. i can't wait.
maybe it's time to go Mac, now that they are running UNIX...
on Monday, April 4th 2005 at 3:48pm, Jim Dandy said:
on Monday, April 4th 2005 at 3:50pm, mjp said:
on Monday, April 4th 2005 at 7:39pm, tbonekkt said:
on Tuesday, April 5th 2005 at 8:51am, mjp said:
on Tuesday, April 5th 2005 at 10:33am, tbonekkt said:
on Friday, April 8th 2005 at 11:00am, Jim Dandy said:
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