| recent comments mjp said: I'm, uh, working on it. Right now. ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up! shane said: michael phillips,you are a fuckin madman,post yer next story... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up! mjp said: Yes, that is a potential problem for people in 10,001. I often worry about... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... damian said: indeed. ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... Scott h Florance said: The Christians believe Jesus Christ tis immortal and he lives forever. It is... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... mjp said: Isn't there a NASCAR or gun or fishing or tabakky-chewing site you can go... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead Andrew Olin Jones said: Hillbilly said you might turn off the smog but I don't want you to do that... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead mjp said: My childhood box? I don't think anyone wants to open that... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up!   previous ramblings • I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead 2.18.08 • Simple is as simple does 1.31.08 • I feel the earthworms under my feet 1.22.08 • New boots and panties 1.19.08 • I haven't given up, I've just stopped trying 12.25.07 • I don't pray. Kneeling bags my nylons. 12.20.07 • So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night 9.19.07 • Grab the closet case by the horns 8.11.07 • Blogged down in the forum of my youth 5.23.07 • Hotter than July 5.16.07 • 26 Miles Across the Deep Blue Sea 5.11.07 • A rose by any other name, still doesn't smell so good 4.6.07 • Children of a lesser dog from hell 2.22.07 • Squid lights 1.9.07 • Cats and dogs 12.19.06 • Mission accomplished! 11.22.06 • Various tidbits of marginal interest to anyone 11.9.06 • Buddy, can you spare a town? 10.16.06 • A garbage can is somewhat precise. 10.6.06 • Another cantankerous rant - surprise! 9.25.06 • Hey, where you been? 9.1.06 • Geeeeeeee mail, @smog.net 7.27.06 • Oh good lord, it's a kid's show 7.22.06 • Sleeping dogs 6.28.06 • Dumb and dumber 6.21.06 • HDTV for $150! 5.16.06 • Thank you for calling the White House. My name is Krishna, how may I be providing you excellent service today? 4.28.06 • Decades and bits of centuries 4.24.06 • Secret Society 3.22.06 • Sometimes I don't speak right, but yet I know what I'm talking about 3.20.06 • This is the modern world 3.15.06 • Shakespeare never did this 2.18.06 • Who is Lonnie Tolliver, and why should you care? 1.27.06 • Scuttlebutt and innuendo 1.16.06 • Beware the fury of a patient man 1.6.06 • I feel 100 pounds lighter already... 12.30.05 • Dude! Your wiki is showing... 12.20.05 • Yeti spotted, film at 11! 12.19.05 • "God is a concept by which we measure our pain." 12.9.05 • Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... 12.8.05 • Hey, what's with the torn up clothes, and didn't you have a shag haircut last week? 12.5.05 • Shameless self-promotion or a desperate cry for love? You decide. 11.18.05 • Further proof that drinking will kill you 11.6.05 • Big Apple dreamin' on a wooden floor 11.1.05 • Happy birthday to smog. Now where's my cake? 10.16.05 • I got nothing 10.4.05 • free within my own doom 9.25.05 • A Rambling Essay on Politics and the Bleeding Life Written While Drinking a Six-Pack (Tall) 9.12.05 • (There's Gonna Be A) Showdown 8.31.05 • Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then? 8.28.05 • What has four wheels and flies? 8.21.05 • Don't think twice, it's all right 8.13.05 • My ass is getting cold sitting on this glacier... 8.11.05 • Capital radio 8.11.05 • nobody's fault 7.23.05 • secret santa 7.3.05 • everything we touch turns to rust 6.21.05 • on the edge of seventeen 6.13.05 • life at 300 baud 6.9.05 • 12 steps away from the screen, running 6.5.05 • shake a leg 6.5.05 • san pedro anarchy press, Inc. 5.22.05 • Z is for zealot 5.20.05 • Lenny Bruce was right 5.16.05 • bad meat in the can 5.12.05 • it's in the water 5.12.05 • you tell me 5.10.05 • what matters most is how well you're lit 5.5.05 • just keep pulling the handle, it'll all be over soon 5.3.05 • rust never sleeps 4.24.05 • randomness, chaos and deliverance 4.21.05 • baby was a black sheep, baby was a whore 4.20.05 • Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? 4.16.05 • roses are red, violets are blue, i thought my hell had ended, but the devil is a crafty bastard with a sick sense of humor and a mean streak a mile wide 4.14.05 • rock the cash bar 4.12.05 • many rivers to cross 4.10.05 • imitation is the sincerest form of unoriginality 4.8.05 • if you are the big tree, we are the small axe! 4.8.05 • give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine 4.4.05 • and who the hell figured QWERTY was a good idea? 4.4.05 • your pope was nothing compared to this guy! 4.3.05 • you've got a TV...i've got a TV...we've all got TV's... 3.29.05 • hitler painted roses 3.26.05 • counselor 3.25.05 • she's still here, damn it! 3.21.05 • patience is a virtue, but resignation is for suckers. 3.13.05 • should have taken mom up on those violin lessons... 3.9.05 • last night a dj saved my life! yeah, maaaaan! 3.9.05 • if i had a hammer... 3.8.05 • caveman re-invents the wheel! film at 11. 3.7.05 • he's mad as hell, and he's not going to take it anymore! 3.4.05 • this is a public service announcement - with guitar! 3.2.05 • battlefield girth 2.28.05 • never give a media giant an even break 2.25.05 • 10 Things I've done that you haven't 2.24.05 • come back, bastard! 2.23.05 • hey, just because he likes Judy Garland records and the Tony awards doesn't necessarily mean anything... 2.23.05 • "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." 2.21.05 • I couldn't say it if it wasn't true 2.17.05 • The demons begged Jesus, "If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs." 2.11.05 • how to lose 10 pounds in five minutes! 2.6.05 • earth to smog, earth to smog 2.5.05 • my own private chernobyl... 2.2.05 • Estoy solo, pero siento que tu estas conmigo. 1.26.05 • confessions of an obsessive freak of nature 1.5.05 • death wants more death 12.30.04 • every mikkle make a muckle (ask a Jamaican what it means) 12.17.04 • things that don't suck 12.15.04 • what's it all about, mjp? 11.11.04 • old dog, new tricks 9.2.04 • if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all 8.15.04 • Frida Kahlo, Charles Bukowski and Joel-Peter Witkin have left the building 2.13.03 • R.I.P. smog.net 5.19.04 • almost cut my hair...it happened just the other day 4.23.04 • and we're back! 4.22.04 • one cocoa full a basket 2.14.04 • let's get ready to rumble 1.24.04 • brace yourself for a shitstorm 1.6.04 • it's my party, i'll o.d. if i want to 12.6.03 • pimp-a-licious 11.27.03 • on a clear day you can see the 18th century 11.9.03 • men are from mars, women are from vegas 10.14.03 • hit and run walker 10.6.03 • It's all cow, after all 10.2.03 • Johnny Cash is dead, Tower records is bankrupt, gawd save the fucking Queen. 9.13.03 • any history of mental illness? 9.10.03 • boggle: to hesitate as if in fear or doubt. 9.6.03 • pass the aspirin 8.27.03 • this is what i get for leaving the house 7.21.03 • safety in numbers 7.13.03 • god damn 7.11.03 • a million and one stupid things... 6.6.03 • praise Jeebus! 5.23.03 • Kennedy to John Lydon; "Oh, lighten up!" 5.20.03 • they say the French are cowards and assholes... 5.2.03 • I couldn't possibly be *that* fat! 4.19.03 • what's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding? 3.22.03 • this skunk's for you 3.12.03 • Monday's coming like a jail on wheels 2.24.03 • linux, linus, lomax, duck! 2.20.03 • FREE MICHAEL JACKSON! 2.18.03 • the weather in Los Angeles is cloudy 2.13.03 ©1995-2008 mjp | So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night Wednesday, September 19th 2007, 3:16pm  Long time no see, bitches! I have been caught up in a never ending nightmare of moving. First the company I work for relocated. Planning that move, top to bottom, was my job. Imagine what it's like when you move to a new house or apartment -- it was kind of like that, if there were 25 people in your family, and you had three months of construction to do the place you were moving into. As the dust was settling on the work move, Carol and I left our beloved seaside shack in San Pedro and moved into town, so to speak, a few miles Northeast of downtown Los Angeles. When you say "San Pedro" to most people in Los Angeles, they look at you sort of blankly and say, "Oh, is that near San Diego or something?" So now we can say "South Pasadena," and everyone knows where that is. We're not actually in South Pasadena (we are not rich or fabulous enough for that zip code), but we're in the general area, so what's the difference, right?  What's the difference? Well, here's the main difference: my commute has decreased by 75 miles a day. I work in Pasadena, and to get to work from San Pedro I had to drive 44 miles each way. It was usually 2 1/2 hours a day (or more) in the car, just getting to and from work. Now I am 6 1/2 miles from work and it takes 15 minutes to get there. Half an hour a day of driving. And no freeways. I used to have to drive on five different freeways to get to the job. I know what you're thinking, "Wow, you must be saving a shitload of money on gas and mileage!" Yes, yes I am. But brothers and sisters, that is not even a drop in the bucket compared to the savings of time. Think about it. I'm in the car for two hours less every day. Two hours sounds like a lot of time just by itself, but start to add it up and the numbers are frightening. Two hours a day is 10 hours a week. More than one full work day. That's 65 full work days per year, or thirteen work weeks! 13 work weeks. I had to type that again just to let it sink in. And forget work weeks, I was throwing away more than three weeks of 24 hour days behind the wheel. I know that a lot of you reading this live in Los Angeles, and a lot of you probably commute more than I did, and you're thinking that I should shut up and quit whining (or gloating), so I will. I loved the Point Fermin area of San Pedro. Living there on the cliff, the neighbors were mostly good, the weather was cooler than the rest of Los Angeles, you could hear the sea lions barking about who-knows-what all night. But there's a lot wrong with San Pedro too, and most of the people there choose not to think about it.  The pollution created by the ships and the port make the harbor area's air quality the worst in LA, by far. People in the area directly around the port experience higher levels of a lot of cancers. There's a gentrification move at work that threatens to extinguish the very things that made San Pedro a great place (as gentrification tends to do everywhere).San Pedro is also secluded from the city center, which is one of the things that make it desirable, actually, but also the thing that starts to drive you crazy after a few years. If you want to go to a good restaurant, visit friends, see art, buy something (anything), etc., etc., you have to get in the car and drive away from San Pedro, far away, because there is really nothing in San Pedro. Okay, there are a few great breakfast places. But they all close at 2 pm. Yeah, I know. How many restaurants in your town close at 2 pm? And specifically in the place that we lived, the noise was becoming unbearable. We were on the corner of a pretty busy street, a block from the park, and right in front of Sunken City. When we moved there it was February, foggy and cool, no one was around, and we couldn't believe our luck, finding such a gem of a spot. Then summer came, and it was like living in the monkey house at a crumbling zoo in a forgotten Russian town somewhere. Just filth and noise and day after day after day of assholish behavior, loud music from the park (not good music - San Pedro loves - and I mean loves - really, horribly shitty oldies bands...take the worst possible oldies bands you can imagine and multiply them by 50, that how shitty each and every one of these bands were), and this went on for 5 or 6 months of the year. So it was quiet and peaceful for the other six months, right? No, no it wasn't. Being a block from the park meant being a block from Walker's, a biker bar/hangout/joint.  Even without Walker's, the street we were on was a popular cruising street. It's the southernmost street in Los Angeles, running along the coast...motorcycles day and night. Weekends, motorcycles times 20, plus low riders, extra loud stereos, and the aforementioned generally loud assholes everywhere. These aren't just regular motorcycles I'm talking about. They are all straight pipe, 120 decibel, "look at me, I'm the world's biggest cocksucker!" motorcycles. If you were sitting on the couch talking to Carol or I on a typical weekend day, you would have to stop talking and wait for the bikes to pass about 100 times. It was that loud, and they were that close to the house. And just to make it even worse, about halfway through our 8 years there, the city decided that the intersection in front of the house should be a four way stop. What? Yeah. So anyway, enough of that. The new place is great. Beautiful house, spacious (12 foot ceiling in the living room kind of spacious), quiet, peaceful, garden-like back yard, French doors, decks, long driveway (off-street parking, woo!) leading to a huge garage, central air. Ha. It is very refreshing to live close to things that people need: food, clothing, electronics, hardware, general ridiculous shit, work, civilization... But I love you San Pedro, you were really something for a while there. I don't know what the hell you are becoming, and I'm not sure I want to see it, but I will always feel a little bit like I'm "from" San Pedro. Just like I'm from Mahtomedi, St. Paul, Venice, Topanga, Redondo, Lawndale...from everywhere and nowhere. I live in this box you're looking at. Feed me, motherfucker! I'm typing this on the new IBM ThinkPad, part of a "get rid of all your big ugly shit" kick that I'm currently on. We'll see how that goes. Many have tried to simplify, and have failed. No doubt I will fail too, but it's something different for a while.  Speaking of getting rid of big ugly shit, the Trooper is history. I got into an unfortunate wreck on the 110 freeway a while back and the Trooper was totaled. So I got a little Honda Fit to make the commute. Now I have no commute, but I still have the Fit, which is a pretty good little car. Honda rarely misses. Carol and I have had Hondas that we had to get rid of because the bodies were disintegrating, but the damn engines and transmissions just seem to go on forever. It's hard to get rid of a Honda.Okay, okay, enough already. We have been here for a week but still have no internet connection. I am posting this courtesy of some neighbors who do not believe in wireless security. See, the place is already better! on Saturday, September 22nd 2007 at 1:40am, damian said: holy fuck Dickens...write a novel. on Saturday, September 22nd 2007 at 4:05pm, damian said: sorry dude - was reading this last night while under the influence...my puny human brain couldn't process all that info. i read it all again this morning and it's a lovely post, really. on Tuesday, September 25th 2007 at 5:45pm, mjp said: You were right the first time. It's too god damn long! on Sunday, October 7th 2007 at 3:37pm, noel rhodes said: jnfr thinks we live in the same neighborhood! call me (818) 455-****. on Monday, October 15th 2007 at 9:15am, melissa sue said: hey, did carol drop her blog? cant find any linkies for it. i've been away gettin' hitched and honeymooning, and now i come back and can't my es fix. :( on Monday, October 15th 2007 at 11:00am, mjp said: There is some kind of secret project going on here: carol-es.blogspot.com smog.blog powered by buddy V2.0 |