| recent comments mjp said: I'm, uh, working on it. Right now. ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up! shane said: michael phillips,you are a fuckin madman,post yer next story... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up! mjp said: Yes, that is a potential problem for people in 10,001. I often worry about... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... damian said: indeed. ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... Scott h Florance said: The Christians believe Jesus Christ tis immortal and he lives forever. It is... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... mjp said: Isn't there a NASCAR or gun or fishing or tabakky-chewing site you can go... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead Andrew Olin Jones said: Hillbilly said you might turn off the smog but I don't want you to do that... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead mjp said: My childhood box? I don't think anyone wants to open that... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up!   previous ramblings • I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead 2.18.08 • Simple is as simple does 1.31.08 • I feel the earthworms under my feet 1.22.08 • New boots and panties 1.19.08 • I haven't given up, I've just stopped trying 12.25.07 • I don't pray. Kneeling bags my nylons. 12.20.07 • So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night 9.19.07 • Grab the closet case by the horns 8.11.07 • Blogged down in the forum of my youth 5.23.07 • Hotter than July 5.16.07 • 26 Miles Across the Deep Blue Sea 5.11.07 • A rose by any other name, still doesn't smell so good 4.6.07 • Children of a lesser dog from hell 2.22.07 • Squid lights 1.9.07 • Cats and dogs 12.19.06 • Mission accomplished! 11.22.06 • Various tidbits of marginal interest to anyone 11.9.06 • Buddy, can you spare a town? 10.16.06 • A garbage can is somewhat precise. 10.6.06 • Another cantankerous rant - surprise! 9.25.06 • Hey, where you been? 9.1.06 • Geeeeeeee mail, @smog.net 7.27.06 • Oh good lord, it's a kid's show 7.22.06 • Sleeping dogs 6.28.06 • Dumb and dumber 6.21.06 • HDTV for $150! 5.16.06 • Thank you for calling the White House. My name is Krishna, how may I be providing you excellent service today? 4.28.06 • Decades and bits of centuries 4.24.06 • Secret Society 3.22.06 • Sometimes I don't speak right, but yet I know what I'm talking about 3.20.06 • This is the modern world 3.15.06 • Shakespeare never did this 2.18.06 • Who is Lonnie Tolliver, and why should you care? 1.27.06 • Scuttlebutt and innuendo 1.16.06 • Beware the fury of a patient man 1.6.06 • I feel 100 pounds lighter already... 12.30.05 • Dude! Your wiki is showing... 12.20.05 • Yeti spotted, film at 11! 12.19.05 • "God is a concept by which we measure our pain." 12.9.05 • Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... 12.8.05 • Hey, what's with the torn up clothes, and didn't you have a shag haircut last week? 12.5.05 • Shameless self-promotion or a desperate cry for love? You decide. 11.18.05 • Further proof that drinking will kill you 11.6.05 • Big Apple dreamin' on a wooden floor 11.1.05 • Happy birthday to smog. Now where's my cake? 10.16.05 • I got nothing 10.4.05 • free within my own doom 9.25.05 • A Rambling Essay on Politics and the Bleeding Life Written While Drinking a Six-Pack (Tall) 9.12.05 • (There's Gonna Be A) Showdown 8.31.05 • Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then? 8.28.05 • What has four wheels and flies? 8.21.05 • Don't think twice, it's all right 8.13.05 • My ass is getting cold sitting on this glacier... 8.11.05 • Capital radio 8.11.05 • nobody's fault 7.23.05 • secret santa 7.3.05 • everything we touch turns to rust 6.21.05 • on the edge of seventeen 6.13.05 • life at 300 baud 6.9.05 • 12 steps away from the screen, running 6.5.05 • shake a leg 6.5.05 • san pedro anarchy press, Inc. 5.22.05 • Z is for zealot 5.20.05 • Lenny Bruce was right 5.16.05 • bad meat in the can 5.12.05 • it's in the water 5.12.05 • you tell me 5.10.05 • what matters most is how well you're lit 5.5.05 • just keep pulling the handle, it'll all be over soon 5.3.05 • rust never sleeps 4.24.05 • randomness, chaos and deliverance 4.21.05 • baby was a black sheep, baby was a whore 4.20.05 • Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? 4.16.05 • roses are red, violets are blue, i thought my hell had ended, but the devil is a crafty bastard with a sick sense of humor and a mean streak a mile wide 4.14.05 • rock the cash bar 4.12.05 • many rivers to cross 4.10.05 • imitation is the sincerest form of unoriginality 4.8.05 • if you are the big tree, we are the small axe! 4.8.05 • give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine 4.4.05 • and who the hell figured QWERTY was a good idea? 4.4.05 • your pope was nothing compared to this guy! 4.3.05 • you've got a TV...i've got a TV...we've all got TV's... 3.29.05 • hitler painted roses 3.26.05 • counselor 3.25.05 • she's still here, damn it! 3.21.05 • patience is a virtue, but resignation is for suckers. 3.13.05 • should have taken mom up on those violin lessons... 3.9.05 • last night a dj saved my life! yeah, maaaaan! 3.9.05 • if i had a hammer... 3.8.05 • caveman re-invents the wheel! film at 11. 3.7.05 • he's mad as hell, and he's not going to take it anymore! 3.4.05 • this is a public service announcement - with guitar! 3.2.05 • battlefield girth 2.28.05 • never give a media giant an even break 2.25.05 • 10 Things I've done that you haven't 2.24.05 • come back, bastard! 2.23.05 • hey, just because he likes Judy Garland records and the Tony awards doesn't necessarily mean anything... 2.23.05 • "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." 2.21.05 • I couldn't say it if it wasn't true 2.17.05 • The demons begged Jesus, "If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs." 2.11.05 • how to lose 10 pounds in five minutes! 2.6.05 • earth to smog, earth to smog 2.5.05 • my own private chernobyl... 2.2.05 • Estoy solo, pero siento que tu estas conmigo. 1.26.05 • confessions of an obsessive freak of nature 1.5.05 • death wants more death 12.30.04 • every mikkle make a muckle (ask a Jamaican what it means) 12.17.04 • things that don't suck 12.15.04 • what's it all about, mjp? 11.11.04 • old dog, new tricks 9.2.04 • if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all 8.15.04 • Frida Kahlo, Charles Bukowski and Joel-Peter Witkin have left the building 2.13.03 • R.I.P. smog.net 5.19.04 • almost cut my hair...it happened just the other day 4.23.04 • and we're back! 4.22.04 • one cocoa full a basket 2.14.04 • let's get ready to rumble 1.24.04 • brace yourself for a shitstorm 1.6.04 • it's my party, i'll o.d. if i want to 12.6.03 • pimp-a-licious 11.27.03 • on a clear day you can see the 18th century 11.9.03 • men are from mars, women are from vegas 10.14.03 • hit and run walker 10.6.03 • It's all cow, after all 10.2.03 • Johnny Cash is dead, Tower records is bankrupt, gawd save the fucking Queen. 9.13.03 • any history of mental illness? 9.10.03 • boggle: to hesitate as if in fear or doubt. 9.6.03 • pass the aspirin 8.27.03 • this is what i get for leaving the house 7.21.03 • safety in numbers 7.13.03 • god damn 7.11.03 • a million and one stupid things... 6.6.03 • praise Jeebus! 5.23.03 • Kennedy to John Lydon; "Oh, lighten up!" 5.20.03 • they say the French are cowards and assholes... 5.2.03 • I couldn't possibly be *that* fat! 4.19.03 • what's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding? 3.22.03 • this skunk's for you 3.12.03 • Monday's coming like a jail on wheels 2.24.03 • linux, linus, lomax, duck! 2.20.03 • FREE MICHAEL JACKSON! 2.18.03 • the weather in Los Angeles is cloudy 2.13.03 ©1995-2008 mjp | Hotter than July Wednesday, May 16th 2007, 6:36pm Carol made a detailed post about a Miranda July reading we saw last night, but I thought I would add my two cents, because that's just what I do. If you've ever seen a reading you know that they can easily put you to sleep or make your mind wander to how you need to sweep out under the bed or check the oil on the car. It usually not the reader's fault. Listening to someone read is just inherently dull. Bukowski knew how to give a reading after he hit his stride, but his early readings were just as dull as anyone else's (see Bukowski at Bellevue for proof of that).  Miranda July knows how to give a reading too. She doesn't trade drunken insults with the audience or threaten to stab them, ala Bukowski, she just draws you in. Reading with her head down, rarely looking up, stumbling over some bits - still, you're there in the story. No outside thoughts creep in. That's not an easy thing to accomplish. Try it sometime. Read something you wrote, or anything for that matter, out loud for 30 or 40 minutes. You'll probably bore yourself. I had already read the book (NO ONE BELONGS HERE MORE THAN YOU) and I had to stand through the whole thing, and I still thought it was an excellent reading, so there you go. Anyway, July gets my vote for Web2.0 Site Of The Year for her site for the book. on Wednesday, May 16th 2007 at 6:56pm, carol es said: yes, she IS hotter than july. that is a great pic you lifted too. if i didn't love her so much for being lovely, multi-talented, and funny as shit, i would hate her for it while i turned many shades of green, but i can only admire and drool on my old lady bib from miles away on my computer machine. on Thursday, May 17th 2007 at 6:03pm, damian said: that is a pretty kickass website right there. i might just order a book based solely on it's design. or is it "its" design? i can never remember...fuck you, English. on Monday, May 21st 2007 at 11:12pm, mjp said: The book is definitely worth buying. I know it's good because there was something on every page to make me jealous of the author's skill. on Monday, May 28th 2007 at 7:04pm, Tom said: It's its. on Thursday, June 7th 2007 at 4:17pm, Hillbilly Jones said: Today my visit to smog dot net had me clicking into different directions after reading HOTTER THAN JULY. Today I had a To Do List a mile long. I started early, worked through lunch, and then went upstairs and turned on Dr. Phil at 3:00. At 4:30 I woke up on the couch with the remote control on my chest, centered over my left nipple like the big hand of a clock. A chest clock. When I was a kid it would have been three hairs past a freckle, but barely into the back side of 50 it’s become three hairs past a psoriasis sore and the faded scare of a fraternity brand from the University of Arkansas. Yeah, they really did brand me. I had a scab a half-inch thick for a month, but that’s another story. So working through my normal 30-minute lunch and then conking out on the couch ended up costing me 90 minutes instead of thirty. Fuck the to do list for today. Since it was already 4:30 I rewarded my wasted time by checking out smog dot net to see if any of those socialists (who don’t know he/she is a socialist) had posted some new socialist ramblings that always for some reason makes me think about Shirley Temple singing THE GOOD SHIP LOLLYPOP. And what I learned from smog dot net today was that Carol writes with personality. Actually, I first wrote “Carol writes well” but Mrs. Jones trumped my well for personality, which I must admit is so much more right on. Carol is funny as hell too. And now I want to check out Amanda July, although I have to disagree about her website. It was fun the first time through but the second time through it was more an irritant; much like msdewey dot com, the search engine that talks to you. The search engine that you wouldn’t mind getting a blow job from, but still don’t visit that often. I clicked to Carol’s story about the reading, Amanda’s blog, and various other off shoots. That helped me blow 45 minutes. I had great fun. Now I think I’m going to go read Carol’s blog. Most writers of any kind put me to sleep, but not Carol. Carol sort of takes you gently by the hand and leads you down her story, giving you time to take pictures and use the bathroom if you want. on Saturday, June 9th 2007 at 7:21pm, carol es said: hey there hillbilly man. thank you for your werds. you always entertain me too, like with your chest clock. that's a good one. ps: i am aware that i am a socialist, and i have no shame. although i could change my mind if i ever come into some money. on Friday, June 15th 2007 at 10:38pm, Hillbilly Jones said: Darlin, socialism ain't no walk in the park. Look at the VA hospitals. That IS socialism. Without financial incentives, nothing gets done well. A $2 hotdog would cost $12 if it was a government hot dog stand. Socialists have great hearts and wish for things that can't exist; like hair on the top of my head. on Wednesday, June 20th 2007 at 12:07am, melissa sue said: hey, i'm reading this book. thanks. on Sunday, June 24th 2007 at 12:07pm, Andrew Olin Jones said: Hey y'all! I ain't been back here for a few weeks. I been workin' on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. Just came by to see o'l Hillbilly's family. Hillbilly showed me a few minutes of Bukowski at Bellevue. That's some freaky shit. I wasn't bored, just freaked out. My girlfriend has a cousin who can read too. His name is Roy Elmer Shepherd. He also wrote a book called..oh, wait, she don't want me to tell you what the name of the book is...sorry. It has the word "rose" in it though, he he. He was Elmer to us, when I was a kid. But now that he's some hot shit somwhere, he's "Roy." Give me a break, eh? After you get to know him, he's a good guy. At cocktail parties, though, he was the the guy who stood in the corner with his arms crossed as though he was waiting to fuck the Statue of Liberty. Gotta run..Mrs. Jones says the pot roast is ready. And hot damn, they've got Heinz 57 too! Mmmmmm! on Thursday, July 19th 2007 at 11:51pm, Jay Robert Nash said: CHARLES BUKOWSKI: THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH By Jay Robert Nash I met Charles Bukowski in the early 1960s ... blah, blah, blah on Friday, July 20th 2007 at 3:05am, mjp said: Jay Robert Nash - way to co-opt the blog comment system to post an article! But sorry, no one who calls Bukowski "Charlie" gets 1500 words here. I did not miss him when he died. I knew him too well to miss him. Yeeeaaaah, you were so close that you called him "Charlie"! This article is about Miranda July, not "Charlie" Bukowski. smog.blog powered by buddy V2.0 |