| recent comments mjp said: I'm, uh, working on it. Right now. ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up! shane said: michael phillips,you are a fuckin madman,post yer next story... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up! mjp said: Yes, that is a potential problem for people in 10,001. I often worry about... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... damian said: indeed. ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... Scott h Florance said: The Christians believe Jesus Christ tis immortal and he lives forever. It is... ~ Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... mjp said: Isn't there a NASCAR or gun or fishing or tabakky-chewing site you can go... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead Andrew Olin Jones said: Hillbilly said you might turn off the smog but I don't want you to do that... ~ I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead mjp said: My childhood box? I don't think anyone wants to open that... ~ Fly me to the moon, then blow that shit up!   previous ramblings • I can see for miles, but it's kind of blurry up ahead 2.18.08 • Simple is as simple does 1.31.08 • I feel the earthworms under my feet 1.22.08 • New boots and panties 1.19.08 • I haven't given up, I've just stopped trying 12.25.07 • I don't pray. Kneeling bags my nylons. 12.20.07 • So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night 9.19.07 • Grab the closet case by the horns 8.11.07 • Blogged down in the forum of my youth 5.23.07 • Hotter than July 5.16.07 • 26 Miles Across the Deep Blue Sea 5.11.07 • A rose by any other name, still doesn't smell so good 4.6.07 • Children of a lesser dog from hell 2.22.07 • Squid lights 1.9.07 • Cats and dogs 12.19.06 • Mission accomplished! 11.22.06 • Various tidbits of marginal interest to anyone 11.9.06 • Buddy, can you spare a town? 10.16.06 • A garbage can is somewhat precise. 10.6.06 • Another cantankerous rant - surprise! 9.25.06 • Hey, where you been? 9.1.06 • Geeeeeeee mail, @smog.net 7.27.06 • Oh good lord, it's a kid's show 7.22.06 • Sleeping dogs 6.28.06 • Dumb and dumber 6.21.06 • HDTV for $150! 5.16.06 • Thank you for calling the White House. My name is Krishna, how may I be providing you excellent service today? 4.28.06 • Decades and bits of centuries 4.24.06 • Secret Society 3.22.06 • Sometimes I don't speak right, but yet I know what I'm talking about 3.20.06 • This is the modern world 3.15.06 • Shakespeare never did this 2.18.06 • Who is Lonnie Tolliver, and why should you care? 1.27.06 • Scuttlebutt and innuendo 1.16.06 • Beware the fury of a patient man 1.6.06 • I feel 100 pounds lighter already... 12.30.05 • Dude! Your wiki is showing... 12.20.05 • Yeti spotted, film at 11! 12.19.05 • "God is a concept by which we measure our pain." 12.9.05 • Doctor, it hurts when I move my arm like this... 12.8.05 • Hey, what's with the torn up clothes, and didn't you have a shag haircut last week? 12.5.05 • Shameless self-promotion or a desperate cry for love? You decide. 11.18.05 • Further proof that drinking will kill you 11.6.05 • Big Apple dreamin' on a wooden floor 11.1.05 • Happy birthday to smog. Now where's my cake? 10.16.05 • I got nothing 10.4.05 • free within my own doom 9.25.05 • A Rambling Essay on Politics and the Bleeding Life Written While Drinking a Six-Pack (Tall) 9.12.05 • (There's Gonna Be A) Showdown 8.31.05 • Well, could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then? 8.28.05 • What has four wheels and flies? 8.21.05 • Don't think twice, it's all right 8.13.05 • My ass is getting cold sitting on this glacier... 8.11.05 • Capital radio 8.11.05 • nobody's fault 7.23.05 • secret santa 7.3.05 • everything we touch turns to rust 6.21.05 • on the edge of seventeen 6.13.05 • life at 300 baud 6.9.05 • 12 steps away from the screen, running 6.5.05 • shake a leg 6.5.05 • san pedro anarchy press, Inc. 5.22.05 • Z is for zealot 5.20.05 • Lenny Bruce was right 5.16.05 • bad meat in the can 5.12.05 • it's in the water 5.12.05 • you tell me 5.10.05 • what matters most is how well you're lit 5.5.05 • just keep pulling the handle, it'll all be over soon 5.3.05 • rust never sleeps 4.24.05 • randomness, chaos and deliverance 4.21.05 • baby was a black sheep, baby was a whore 4.20.05 • Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? 4.16.05 • roses are red, violets are blue, i thought my hell had ended, but the devil is a crafty bastard with a sick sense of humor and a mean streak a mile wide 4.14.05 • rock the cash bar 4.12.05 • many rivers to cross 4.10.05 • imitation is the sincerest form of unoriginality 4.8.05 • if you are the big tree, we are the small axe! 4.8.05 • give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine 4.4.05 • and who the hell figured QWERTY was a good idea? 4.4.05 • your pope was nothing compared to this guy! 4.3.05 • you've got a TV...i've got a TV...we've all got TV's... 3.29.05 • hitler painted roses 3.26.05 • counselor 3.25.05 • she's still here, damn it! 3.21.05 • patience is a virtue, but resignation is for suckers. 3.13.05 • should have taken mom up on those violin lessons... 3.9.05 • last night a dj saved my life! yeah, maaaaan! 3.9.05 • if i had a hammer... 3.8.05 • caveman re-invents the wheel! film at 11. 3.7.05 • he's mad as hell, and he's not going to take it anymore! 3.4.05 • this is a public service announcement - with guitar! 3.2.05 • battlefield girth 2.28.05 • never give a media giant an even break 2.25.05 • 10 Things I've done that you haven't 2.24.05 • come back, bastard! 2.23.05 • hey, just because he likes Judy Garland records and the Tony awards doesn't necessarily mean anything... 2.23.05 • "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." 2.21.05 • I couldn't say it if it wasn't true 2.17.05 • The demons begged Jesus, "If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs." 2.11.05 • how to lose 10 pounds in five minutes! 2.6.05 • earth to smog, earth to smog 2.5.05 • my own private chernobyl... 2.2.05 • Estoy solo, pero siento que tu estas conmigo. 1.26.05 • confessions of an obsessive freak of nature 1.5.05 • death wants more death 12.30.04 • every mikkle make a muckle (ask a Jamaican what it means) 12.17.04 • things that don't suck 12.15.04 • what's it all about, mjp? 11.11.04 • old dog, new tricks 9.2.04 • if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all 8.15.04 • Frida Kahlo, Charles Bukowski and Joel-Peter Witkin have left the building 2.13.03 • R.I.P. smog.net 5.19.04 • almost cut my hair...it happened just the other day 4.23.04 • and we're back! 4.22.04 • one cocoa full a basket 2.14.04 • let's get ready to rumble 1.24.04 • brace yourself for a shitstorm 1.6.04 • it's my party, i'll o.d. if i want to 12.6.03 • pimp-a-licious 11.27.03 • on a clear day you can see the 18th century 11.9.03 • men are from mars, women are from vegas 10.14.03 • hit and run walker 10.6.03 • It's all cow, after all 10.2.03 • Johnny Cash is dead, Tower records is bankrupt, gawd save the fucking Queen. 9.13.03 • any history of mental illness? 9.10.03 • boggle: to hesitate as if in fear or doubt. 9.6.03 • pass the aspirin 8.27.03 • this is what i get for leaving the house 7.21.03 • safety in numbers 7.13.03 • god damn 7.11.03 • a million and one stupid things... 6.6.03 • praise Jeebus! 5.23.03 • Kennedy to John Lydon; "Oh, lighten up!" 5.20.03 • they say the French are cowards and assholes... 5.2.03 • I couldn't possibly be *that* fat! 4.19.03 • what's so funny 'bout peace love and understanding? 3.22.03 • this skunk's for you 3.12.03 • Monday's coming like a jail on wheels 2.24.03 • linux, linus, lomax, duck! 2.20.03 • FREE MICHAEL JACKSON! 2.18.03 • the weather in Los Angeles is cloudy 2.13.03 ©1995-2008 mjp | A Rambling Essay on Politics and the Bleeding Life Written While Drinking a Six-Pack (Tall) Monday, September 12th 2005, 5:44pm I've been thinking about America a lot lately, and New Orleans, and that guy who went on live TV and said, "George Bush doesn't care about black people." And I've come to the conclusion that it's true, he doesn't. I suspect that Bush never really cared about anyone other than people in a position to help him. Help him buy a company, help him bail out a company that he bought and bankrupted, help him cover up a DWI (or two), help him avoid going to Vietnam (the only smart thing he ever did) - you know, that kind of thing. But now I think it's painfully obvious. Hearing his wife on CNN talking about "Hurricane Karinna" (not once, but twice) sealed the deal for me. They don't even know the name of the fucking hurricane, so I don't know how you could extrapolate 'care' from that, no matter how hard you shake that snow globe. And yes, I know Mrs. Bush isn't the president, but if anything I assume she's smarter than he is, so if she doesn't know, he probably doesn't know either.  But you have to be careful what you say. Shortly after John Kennedy was assassinated, Malcolm X said that Kennedy, "...never foresaw that the chickens would come home to roost so soon," and he took a heap of shit for that, from all sides. Anyone who speaks out in a visible and vocal way against the status quo feels the big cartoon thumb of public shame and oppression, no matter which filth-encrusted branch of the stink tree is controlling the government at the time. The truth is no defense.What's depressing and irritating about the country these days is the way everything - truth and lies - is twisted and spun to a creamy nougat fluff, and rather than dealing with problems we have thousands of semi-functional elected jackasses and reprobates falling all over each other to point the finger at the other side, or at Kanye West or the Dixie Chicks or Janeane Garofalo. Because as long as you've got the finger pointing somewhere it takes the spotlight off of you. The Republicans currently do it much better than the Democrats can, but that could easily change. Just don't open your mouth, kid, because neither side has anyone of any measurable intelligence or conviction standing in the way of their wrath, or their perfection of the blow-off and the big con. So here we are, and one or two voices speak up and say, "So what's the deal? It seems like you left those people down there to die?" and out of some perverted sense of unrequited loyalty one of the white house puppetheads stifles a smirk and wrinkles up his brow and whines, "Come on, don't be ridiculous!" Because insinuating that something is too ridiculous to discuss is a good way to avoid discussing it. They know this, and they make use of this tactic with alarming frequency, and that's why so many things are just swept away and forgotten. Important things like Bush's right hand man leaking classified information to the press, putting American citizens lives in danger for partisan purposes. No wonder the press seems to be unable to speak out. Karl Rove's dick is so firmly entrenched in their mouths that they're afraid to stop sucking, lest their supply of information be cut off. Whores.  Everyone is a whore these days. It's not even a shameful pastime anymore. Rock bands won't even attempt to tour without sponsorship, and they consider it a sign of success to do commercial endorsements. Something the goofy hippies of the 60's and early 70's would have never considered in a million years. Because to them, "the establishment" was the enemy, and you didn't spread your legs for the enemy just so he would feed you fine food and give you shiny things.But a 20 year old today doesn't know what to believe, because the truth is disappearing faster than New Orleans wetlands, and everywhere they turn all they see are smiles and lies. Most of them, being human and accommodating, accept whatever is put in front of them. Just like their mothers and fathers did, and George Bush I and II, and Tony Blair, and Blair Underwood and the Blair Witch Project. All those damn Blairs and Bushes. Not a one of them worth the toxic boot scrapings of a New Orleans fire fighter, or cop (the two-thirds that didn't flee, anyway), or even god damned Geraldo Rivera or Sean Penn, who were down there pulling people from attics and whisking them to safety(?) while their staff photographers clicked away. Every time I see pictures of Bush at his "ranch" in Texas, on one of his two or three month vacations, he's clearing brush or chopping logs and mopping his brow with a cowboy bandana. Why didn't he go down to New Orleans and clear some fucking brush? If that's all he knows how to do, that's all anyone would have expected of him. Had he done that, even for half a day, no one would be saying he doesn't care. But he didn't, and he doesn't, so yeah, expect to hear a lot more "George Bush doesn't care about black people." Maybe not in those words, but the sentiment is there, and even Karl Rove can't wash the New Orleans stink off his boy now. It's in the history books. on Tuesday, September 13th 2005 at 11:34am, carol es said: ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so angry i could crush atoms with my fist and fling them at the whitehouse. george bush doesn't care about black people. all he's done is shit on the poor. on Tuesday, September 13th 2005 at 3:04pm, melissa sue said: True, but look how cute Bush is when he's making his "Im sowwy" face! "To the extent the federal government didn't fully do its job right, I take responsibility," Bush said. Aww, shucks. on Wednesday, September 14th 2005 at 12:22am, Hillybilly Jones said: To say that Bush cares about the average joe is like saying Michael Jackson went to K-Mart bedause he heard that little boys pants were half off. http://www.remixx.net/bushsucks/codes.php on Wednesday, September 14th 2005 at 12:10pm, mjp said: http://www.remixx.net/bushsucks/codes.php? wtf is that? Link to a site that says Bush sucks? Isn't that like linking to a site that says "Cake tastes good. Join us in spreading the word."? Me no get. on Wednesday, September 14th 2005 at 6:12pm, gary tgnfl said: mjp check this link you will like it http://www.bushflash.com/idiot.html on Wednesday, September 14th 2005 at 11:44pm, Hillybilly Jones said: Bush sucks. Clinton sucks. And I suspect Washington did too, especially when Martha was in town buying soap. I don't get cake tastes good, so the score is 1-1 after the first inning; which reminds me of Groucho saying, "Sir, go home to your wife. No, wait, on second thought I'll go home to your wife and outside of the improvements she'll never know the difference. I'm still in Memphis, showing my face. I peed next to an Elvis impersonator with a smokers cough that sounded more like Santa, who is not from Memphis. Rinse and repeat. on Thursday, September 15th 2005 at 1:47pm, mjp said: What I don't get is the whole "hatelisting" concept. As far as I can tell, you sign up to be part of a group or a list and then --- well, you're part of a group or a list. Then what? There's no there there. It looks like a cult to me. But then most web sites made by teenagers look like cults to me. Who can have the tiniest text...who can cram a site into the smallest box inside a big empty browser window...it makes my eyes water from yawning so much. All empty. Rattle rattle rattle. on Friday, September 16th 2005 at 10:16am, tgnfl gary said: Bush last night talked about stopping weapons of mass destruction and I guess this also covers hurricanes because he said he was giving churches some of millions of dollars that was donated and a national day or payer I'm now safer livening down here in the panhandle of Florida happy-happy-joy-joy on Wednesday, September 21st 2005 at 8:11pm, terri said: I used to think that the average person could wade through the river of bullshit fed by owned media and yes men. Bush being re-elected proved me wrong. We are only getting what we deserve. Brace yourselves. on Sunday, October 2nd 2005 at 12:40pm, David Holzer said: but...and this is written from Mallorca, Spain, after having drunk christ knows how many glasses of good red wine from the only bodega I've managed to find on the island...you should never forget what is great about the idea of America. Bukowski didn't. He may have written about work, about flabby conformists (whether post office boss arseholes or flabby hippies) but it just so happened that these were American. They could just as easily have been European. And, he was probably drunk on the promise of America as much as anything. But, of course, Bush is a cunt. A very corrupt, not so stupid, one. on Thursday, October 6th 2005 at 1:14am, Hillbilly Jones said: Yeah, Bush is a beenie weenie but not because he disagrees with me. He holds Jesus' dick in his mouth until it goes limp and then expects me to pay for dry cleaning his tongue. My guess is he doesn't swallow but expects everybody who sleeps late on Sunday to gulp it down like blue berry yogurt and say, "Mmmm, that was tangy AND tasty. Thankya, thankya, thankya, geez us." The pendulum will swing back too far to the left one of these days; and then many of us will start throwing quarters into the Salvation Army kettle outside of Wal-Mart while we stand very still; and wonder why we can't breath anymore. on Monday, June 26th 2006 at 4:21pm, Hillbilly Jones said: Dimitr, could you come by the trailer today, around fourish, so I kick your spam fuck ass? You punk little kid. I've got food in my refridgerator older than you. And smarter. on Thursday, July 6th 2006 at 4:45pm, Dimitr said: on Friday, July 7th 2006 at 11:17pm, Hillbilly Jones said: Little Hillary is such a doozy! She walked through the room a minute ago to remind me that she's getting her long hair cut tomorrow morning. She is donating it to the Locks Of Love program (see locksoflove dot org). I told her that some people just TALK about caring for others, but people like her actually DO SOMETHING about it. She smiled and then looked at Dimitr's three blank passive aggressive spam fuck posts and then grinned a big one, and said, "Look Uncle Hillbilly! Dimitr is 'R Timid' spelled backwards!" And then she turned and walked into the kitchen for some of that store bought bottled water that she drinks like other kids drink soda pop. Dimitr, you TIMID spam fuck. You're as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker. on Monday, July 16th 2007 at 3:32pm, Hillbilly Jones said: About 4 years ago I had 140 pine trees cleared from a piece of property I owned. In 1959, 1,500 seedings had been planted too close to each other, and the trees that grew the slowest were now dying from lack of sunlight and rain. So I had them cut and chipped and hauled off into wood chip heaven. The company that did the work charged me $3,000, or about $21.42 per tree. Today, I called the same company to fall one tree, trim 3 others, and haul it all off to that same wood chip heaven. They quoted me $1,275. It’s called volume discount. Time Warner sends out more mail per day than 10 of you will receive in a lifetime. They either get a break on postage or they raise the price of their products that you buy. And if the demand of their product decreases too much as a result of increasing their prices (because they didn’t get the postage break) then they will lay off your Aunt Lucille from her job with Time Warner. And then Uncle Jim will have to get a second job. And as far as that scumbag Karl Rove goes, he did not put our country at risk when he did a very mean thing. The harm, if any, was to Mrs. Wilson; not to our national security. It’s not a minnow, but it sure wasn’t Moby Dick. It was catfish, for which he paid a $250,000 fine. Holy moly, I know you hate the current administration as much as I do—and I really, really, really do (at least when it comes to foreign policy and how he handled New Orleans)—but you’re sounding like Alec Baldwin and Rosy O’Donnell. I’ve read enough of what you write on Smog to know that you’re far from being the idiot that Alec and Rosy are. I’ve never thought of you as an idiot at all. And do you REALLY want the President of the United States to use his time doing manual labor? Come on, friend. We get the point. You don’t like Bush. But I know you don’t want him in New Orleans doing anything. And the fact is, we all are whores to one extent or the other. Each of us simply has a different price. Maybe it was the beer. Yeah, we’ll call it that and call it even. And lastly, on a different note; has anybody seen Earth, Wind and Fire in concert lately? I know they always toured hot and heavy in California. My lovely and very sexy Mrs. Jones and I have tickets on the front row (yippee!) to see them soon in a theater that looks like the ghost of Abe Lincoln should reside in. Just wondered if the show was as good as we’re imagining it will be. We had the 9th row and then I scored some front row tickets and sold our 9th row seats on eBay. And watch my Hogs this fall, if you like football! They are going to kick ass, big time. Woo! Pig! Soooooooooieeeeeeeeeeeeee! on Friday, July 20th 2007 at 3:00am, mjp said: I’ve never thought of you as an idiot at all. Wish I could say the same for you, but jesus christ, you are an idiot. One of those clueless idiots who, when you say to them, "Hey, you have mayonnaise all over your shirt," they just grin and say, "No I don't!" Okay. You don't. And do you REALLY want the President of the United States to use his time doing manual labor? Yeah, please take every word I type literally. Anyway, why the fuck not? At least then he could point to one thing he did in his life and say it was good. The non-manual labor work he does just digs our pit deeper. The idiot leader of the confederacy of dunces. When he dies I will buy a plane ticket to wherever they bury him so I can piss on his grave. There, how's that. on Friday, July 20th 2007 at 2:31pm, Hillbilly Jones said: I don’t eat mayonnaise. It would be mustard, friend, and only French’s. I always spill it on my Go Hogs Go! tee shirts, so contrary to your hallucination, I would say, “Oh, OK, thanks.” Regarding your funny stuff about Bush: Throwing the baby out with the bath water doesn’t usually result in a solution for anything; unless you hate babies. And if you hate babies then you and Bush have something in common. His fragile ego and emotional decisions has already indirectly killed over three-thousand of our babies and god-only-knows how many Iraqi babies. And since some of our fallen soldiers would have produced babies, he killed them too. If and when socialism grows bigger in this country (cause it’s already here), be prepared to visit the doctor of your government’s choice and wait in line for a few hours before he or she examines you for 2 minutes and then writes your prescription for Haldol. Or are you a thorazine kind of a guy? And hospitals will be like veterans hospitals. And that tax refund that I suspect you look forward to each year will be a tenth of what you get now, or nonexistent. I still don’t think you are an idiot; maybe a tad bit too angry, but not idiotic. I suspect I am as angry at Bush as you are, and maybe more. But if you go around behaving like Ellen James, in “The World According To Garp,” people won’t take you seriously. That only alienates people, thus giving both parties involved more fuel for their delusions. I’ve read most of your “articles”, and other posts, but I don’t remember ever reading a rational, educated line of reasoning of yours. I read your “articles” only (sic) because every now and then you have some really funny lines of sarcasm with some pretty damned good imagery to boot. But don’t eat the baby. on Saturday, July 21st 2007 at 5:04pm, mjp said: I don't get tax returns, I pay taxes. You must be mistaking me with your toothless, burger flipping, food stamp and government cheese friends and relatives. I have read every one of your "comments" and I don't remember ever reading anything I couldn't hear from the bitter, constipated, clueless, hopped up hillbilly hypocrites on right wing TV or talk radio. Never read any funny lines from you either. You're a one note clown, and your note is old and tired. Really, man, it's so fucking boring, your broken-record socialist claptrap. Take your socialism and your liberalism, and all your other isms, wrap them up in your misguided, funny-if-it-wasn't-so-pathetic smug superiority, jump in the ocean and float away to Havana or Haiti or better still, just keep paddling until you hit the south pole. on Friday, July 27th 2007 at 1:11am, Hillbilly Jones said: You’re a funny guy. Well, not really. Smug? Ahhhh, now you are revealing what hallucination of yours really bothers you. Just because you don’t understand jack shit about economics doesn’t make me smug. I'm far from smug, kid. You can’t seem to even support your wild angry statements and innuendos with a good argument. Chicken Little had stronger rationale for his beliefs. And I’m much less angry than you. Hell, boy, you seem so angry at yourself I bet you jack off with both hands. Or at least you jack somebody off with both hands. Vote for the Left, boy, and you’ll be eating government cheese three times a day and will then learn what constipation really means. Even after all your huffin’ and puffin’ I still won’t call you an idiot. I don’t want to insult all the stupid people out there. on Wednesday, August 1st 2007 at 11:20pm, mjp said: Oh, gee, another "because I said so" post with nothing to back it up, what a sleepy surprise. on Thursday, August 16th 2007 at 12:17am, Pelagia said: I can't be bothered with anything these days. Basically not much noteworthy happening. I feel like an empty room. I've more or less been doing nothing. on Wednesday, August 22nd 2007 at 7:42am, Andrew Olin Jones said: Like Hillary Clinton's pussy, perhaps you ARE an empty room. Ha! Just kiddin! (Hillbilly told me to write that!) Hillbilly is outside now supervising the concrete boys as they place wooden stakes for his new driveway, which is gonna take over 62 yards of concrete. Jesus! I told him to just blacktop it. It would be a hell of a lot cheaper but he was not interested in my opinion. That is when he told me to go inside, make myself a glass of tea, and cruise the net to see if mjp has learned to speak English yet. And here I am! Hello everybody! on Wednesday, August 22nd 2007 at 8:11pm, damian said: eeeeeeeYAWWWWWWWnnnnnn. on Wednesday, August 22nd 2007 at 8:45pm, Hillbilly Jones said: Olin, shut the fuck up. Karl Rove is a thug, like much of Bush's inner circle. Cheney is as whacko as those churches in Eastern Kentucky that use poisonous snakes to test their faith. But don't throw out the party with the Bush. I'm flying to Tulsa tomorrow for a few days so accept my apology in advance in case Andrew Olin gets on this thing while I'm gone. on Thursday, August 23rd 2007 at 9:10am, mjp said: What damian said. on Friday, September 7th 2007 at 2:25pm, Andrew Olin Jones said: What Hillbilly said. He and "Miss J" went with Gene and Kirby up to Louisville on that goddamned big bus of Gene's. It gets like a negative miles per gallon, he he. They're gonna see John Prine on Saturday night. I get to stay here and eat at Diary Queen so I can't really complain. Pissed me off though when I realized they were charging me extra for onions when I ordered at the drive up window, although they don't charge extra if you get them yourself inside. Cheatin' DQ mother fuckers. Hillbilly says Warren Buffett owns most of Dairy Queen. I bet he doesn't pay extra for onions. They ought to put onions on all of their burgers anyway and the people that don’t want onions can just say, “Pardon me, but I don’t want onions.” Cheap ass onion fuckers. Lucky me. I like just about anything from Dairy Queen, especially that little Carolyn Sue Barnes that works the window. She's 19 years old and has legs that could wrap around a flag pole twice, and that's if she doesn't limber up beforehand. I'd take her with, or without, onions. Just heavy on the buns though. I’ll send your love to Hillbilly when he calls tonight. He always does call because one time I almost burnt down his garage and it was my fault I know it. He’d kick my ass clear to Bull Shoals if I’d done that and then I’d of been swimming with those giant catfish that they say are 200 pounds that swim under the dam but Hillbilly says it’s an urban myth (whatever that is). Talking about Dairy Queen made me hungry. I’m gonna go get me a number 4, with onions but I’m gonna go inside for the free onions and I can also look at Carolyn Sue’s sweet behind and maybe even make eye contact if I get brave. smog.blog powered by buddy V2.0 |